In Memory....

I can not tell you how many funerals that I have attended. Or the number of tears that I have shed over the loss of a loved ones. I can tell you that I have cried for some more than others. Sometimes it is because I will not see them again, and then sometimes it is because of what I am going to miss rather than what I had. Does that make sense? Let me try and explain. With Kenny, I cry because I do not have my little boy any longer. I seen him grow for 18 years. But, who would he have married? what would his children have been like? What kind of man would he have been? Would he have been a man after Gods heart? Then there is Daddy. I miss Daddy, I miss him calling me Nikki, Bobby, Diane, Traci.. I miss him giving me a hug because I fixed him something to eat, or the way he would tap that cane on the floor when we would watch a western together. But today, I miss Grammy the most. Maybe because tomorrow is the anniversary of her death and she is on my mind.
I miss the way she would fuss at me for something Gina would or would not do. Or the way she would call me and ask for some goody pills because she knew Gina would fuss at her for taking to many(wow at the empty packs we found under her mattress when she passed) I miss her wanting to go to the dollar store. Never the mall, or a fancy store, always the dollar store, that was her place. She was, in allot of ways a mother to me. She took me and called me one of her girls. She did not have to do that, but because I did not have a mom (she died when I was 10) she made sure I had one in her. She also made me promise on her death bed that Gina would not ever be alone. She worried about that. Not real sure why, but that was a fear to her. Well, Grammy, I will make sure she will never be alone. Not only I, but God in Heaven has her right where He wants her. Thank you Grammy, for taking me and loving me, for the talks, and the laughs and all the funny stories of Gina that you have told me through the years so that I can get to know my sister a little better.
I love and miss you terribly! but I know that in Christ there is no goodbyes. Unitl me meet again.