So have you ever thought you lost something only to find that you really never lost it in the first place? It was there, all along, just waiting on you right where you left it. That is where I am in my life. I found my source for life, the reason I am here. For a year and a half I feel like I have been in limbo. Since we lost Kenny I have been going through the motions only. I have not felt love or happiness, only sadness. But I have now realized that what I thought I loss when I lost Kenny, I never really lost at all. I was angry, hurt, and sad all in one. And the source that I needed (God) was there, being patient waiting on me to return to him, he let me mourn in my time, and He did not rush me. I thought I lost Him, I thought that because I was mad and upset, He was not there. I know, you think some crazy things when you hurt that bad, but God set my life up for that season in my life. He lead me to a wonderful church family that when I needed to cry someone was there to listen and when I needed just to vent I had family and friends just to listen and not say a word. Most of all he allowed my husband to understand and love me regardless. He allowed my beautiful daughter to make me realize that life is beautiful and to enjoy it, as she like Kenny never slows down. Yes, God was there all along and all along He had his hand on me. Now, don't get me wrong, It hurts daily that Kenny is no longer here and I can not tell you that I go through a day without crying, because I don't. But I know Kenny is in Heaven and I know because of that and Because of my relationship with Christ, I will see my son again, and we will laugh again together. Yep, God was there the entire time and boy am I glad that He has the patience and Love that only He can give.