Ever had one of those days?

How many times have you heard that question. "Ever had one of those days?" I can probably safely say about 100. However, here I am having one of those days. You know the ones? When you don't feel pretty, or you miss someone so much that your heart literally aches, or even no matter what you touch, nothing seems to go right? Do you really classify it as "One of those days" or does it happen all the time, but you may notice it more when your feeling down. I mean come on face it, when life is good and all the stars are in alignment, you just keep on buzzing like a bee. But, when your a little hum drum (and yes I said hum drum) I find myself not wanting to keep busy and goofing off more and yes goofing off does get boring.

So here's to you Mr. Ever had one of those days" sounds like one of those beer commercials don't it? LOL. You may have me down for now, but this race is long from over, and I have been known a time or two to bounce back. So bring it on.... I may be down, but I am certainly not out!

In Memory....

I can not tell you how many funerals that I have attended. Or the number of tears that I have shed over the loss of a loved ones. I can tell you that I have cried for some more than others. Sometimes it is because I will not see them again, and then sometimes it is because of what I am going to miss rather than what I had. Does that make sense? Let me try and explain. With Kenny, I cry because I do not have my little boy any longer. I seen him grow for 18 years. But, who would he have married? what would his children have been like? What kind of man would he have been? Would he have been a man after Gods heart? Then there is Daddy. I miss Daddy, I miss him calling me Nikki, Bobby, Diane, Traci.. I miss him giving me a hug because I fixed him something to eat, or the way he would tap that cane on the floor when we would watch a western together. But today, I miss Grammy the most. Maybe because tomorrow is the anniversary of her death and she is on my mind.
I miss the way she would fuss at me for something Gina would or would not do. Or the way she would call me and ask for some goody pills because she knew Gina would fuss at her for taking to many(wow at the empty packs we found under her mattress when she passed) I miss her wanting to go to the dollar store. Never the mall, or a fancy store, always the dollar store, that was her place. She was, in allot of ways a mother to me. She took me and called me one of her girls. She did not have to do that, but because I did not have a mom (she died when I was 10) she made sure I had one in her. She also made me promise on her death bed that Gina would not ever be alone. She worried about that. Not real sure why, but that was a fear to her. Well, Grammy, I will make sure she will never be alone. Not only I, but God in Heaven has her right where He wants her. Thank you Grammy, for taking me and loving me, for the talks, and the laughs and all the funny stories of Gina that you have told me through the years so that I can get to know my sister a little better.
I love and miss you terribly! but I know that in Christ there is no goodbyes. Unitl me meet again.

Sunshine

I sit here at my desk, and although I should be working something inside of me screams to want to go outside. I think it is even up to like 70 degrees today, I can't imagine why I would want to go out instead of sitting here at work. :)
Maybe it is the warm weather, maybe it is just me wanting to get out of here, and maybe it is a combination of things. But, whatever the reason, one thing I can not dispute is I want to be out there in the sun. Something about it helps my thoughts and actions. The warmness on my face when I look up into the sky. It is almost as if God is kissing my cheek as I look up to Him. I find myself looking up to the puffy clouds and seeing if I can catch a glimpse of Kenny looking over the clouds at me. I know that is silly, do you remember doing that as a child? Maybe you would lay on the grass in a meadow and just watch the clouds roll by and imagine the different shapes they seem to be. A puppy, or a dragon. I remember doing that. Wonder what happened? I guess I grew up. I wonder sometimes why we run around like crazy people. As adults, we just don't slow down and enjoy the view. Maybe I need to do that this week. you know, I think I will. I am going to watch the clouds and see what shapes I can see,(or who I can see) will you join me? See you in the meadow....

It's been a long time

I find myself laughing at how long it has been since I was last on here. When I first started doing this, I told myself that I would try and at least put something on here once a week. Well, life happens I guess. And like so many things in our life, before you know it, time has passed and your sitting back going I wished I would have done that more, or I meant to do that. Now don't get me wrong, there are some regrets in my life, but none that has not shaped my character. I have listed a few below.

Regret No.1
I wished I would have finished school
No. 2
I wished I would have stayed at the hospital the day my daddy died
No.3
I wished I would have kept her.
No. 4
I wished I would have came home early and seen Kenny before he left that last time.
No. 5
I wished I would have just walked away


I don't dwell on the above things much, unless of course I am in a really down mood, and then ole satan sneaks in and trys to trick me in believing that I am a goof up and how could anyone love me after all I have done. But in the rambling of satan, is the ever so whisper of God that tells me I love you, I have made you in my image, and I am proud of you. I will take what the world has meant for evil and I will make good of it.

It is then, I realize that today is a new day, and I need to live everyday to the best of my ability, to love more, laugh more, and even cry more. Today, I will complete only the task of today, with no regrets!

Golf Tourney is a comming!!!

Well, it is almost that time again. The second annual Kenny Wolfe Scholarship Golf Tournament. This year it will be once again at Charwood Country Club. However, we will do things a little different. I did not like the raffle thing so we are going to have a silent auction this year, so BRING YOUR CHECKBOOKS!!!

It is cool to know that we are doing something in honor of Kenny. He is missed so much and I can not help but wonder if he were still here, with the growing trend of golf, and the fact that His Dad, brother, sister and yes, you got it his mom is playing. Not to mention Jason and Carl and Katie and Jenn. I wonder if he would have picked the game up. I am sure he would have, an unlike myself, he was such a natural at sports, any sports. So I guess with that being said, I believe ole Kenny Ray Wolfe Jr, Kyzer would have loved the game.

It is hard to believe that he has been gone 2 years. I keep telling myself that he is just gone to NC and spending time with Anita, but as time marches on as it has a tendency to do. Kenny is still gone. He would have been 21 this year for his birthday, wow, my baby 21 :).

So, enough of that, starting to shed a few tears here. This blog is not about the tears, this one is about the tournament. And if your reading this and love the game of Golf, I hope you would join us. If you need information, just let me know and I will hook you up.

As my husband always said "A bad day at golf, if better than any day at work". You know I think he may be onto something. Kenny, this one is for you and May God bless this day, and may we keep you alive in our hearts, because we know your in heaven smiling down and I hope your proud son. Proud to know that so many people cared for you and they will come out and support this tournament.

See you all on May 22nd!!!!

Things that make me go OH MY!

As I sit here at my desk, and see some of the people that come into a Law firm and think they could actually win a case, it reminds me of other things that make me go Oh MY! For example:

1. Really LARGE women in Really LITTLE swimsuits.
2. 85 year old women and Men who think they can still drive.
3. People's work ethics (the fact that they have none)
4. The color of the head on this bird outside my office window (BEAUTIFUL)
5. How you really thought you could leave my child stranded and get away with it (uh NO)
6. ex-wives
7. Looking outside at a beautiful Day and still not believe in a God!
8. Email Forwards that people send me that they believe they really work...
9. How broke my heart is :(
10. How much my sisters and I look alike (ok maybe not Nikki and Bobbie,,,,whos your daddy?)
11. How much I owe in taxes (wow)
12. people in Wal-mart late at night and what they have on. Did you really come out of the house like that?
13. Me working for an Attorney.....Who would have thunk it :)

and the list could go on and on, but for now, I do have to get back to work, another Blog for another day!

The wedding is coming!

So here we are getting ready to marry off my youngest daughter and every time I look at her I see the little girl in the picture. The one where she was probably plotting to have Kenny left behind at the park. I mean come on, this was the same child that for about a year, maybe two, had Kenny thinking that he was adopted. So looking at them this is what I see. I think it is because I am a mom and this is the age your children need you. Oh I know, they will always need you (no matter what they say) but not like when they are this age. Ashley is probably 2 and Kenny is maybe a year old. They are in the smurf houses at Carowinds, and of course Kenny has to check out the stools to make sure you can sit on them. Ashley came and got the rest of her clothes from the house last night and I wonder if they ever stop and think what is does to the parents hearts when they grow up and move out. Now, I know it has to be done, she will grow up and move on. I am just wondering if they think about it. I wonder if they think about the way they talk to us, or blow us off because we may not be cool, or don't do the same things they want to do. I guess that is part of parenting, and when you have Kids, Ashley you will have a little Kenny, (just because). But always remember, THIS is the way I remember you, both of you. Always my babies.......